what makes me come alive?

its been in my mind a lot today and i hope to further dig into this subject.. in myself... i have so many passions and things i want to be or do "when i grow up"

i really just want something - anything to be handed over to me.. that says "this is your task in this life" "this is what i have planned for you from the beginning" i really wish it were this easy.. but i really think God wants me to choose something and that He trusts me to choose that something and that he will use me in and during that something and continuing on after that something.. that that something is only a small part of this life he has chosen for me.. that i need to step out blindly (in faith) with hope that all things work out for good for those who love God. that it will work out for good if i love Him...

what makes me come alive?
communication makes me come alive.. the spark in ones eye when they finally "get it"... when they understand..,. when the connection has been made.. i love it..


so i spent some time last night googling "what makes me come alive" and i came across a few great websites.. one being www.43things.com i find this website is very encouraging.. and very neat how it inspires each of us to set goals and encourage eachother and keep eachother accountable.. very cool..

JUDGING AMY and my Purpose.

i love this show. each sunday morning i wake up for 9am to watch this show.. i love how it starts my day.. how it motivates me.. it brings me to my journal each week.. it stirs so many thoughts and passions within me .. and i need a way to express them..

i love to give.. in many ways.. as i learn more about myself.. more about who i am i am discovering that i am a giver.. that if i dont find a means to give i can go crazy.. i am always looking for ways .. there is no limit.. give by setting examples by being an encourager, by searching out a need and give accordingly - emotional, spiritual, material,... for me to discover this and find a way to fulfill it is gift for me.. to see that smile on someones face.. to use resources (within my reach) and my heart for all in need is what i believe i have been created for. implementing new ideas, delegating and teaching leaders to run with them and then i move on..

i find it hard to move on a lot of times, but i know this makes sense for me.. and i think this is why i involve myself with so many things.. for key reason to teach others.. and learning to part from them will keep me strong and moving forward and prevent burnout..

all this thought has been inspired by watching judging amy.. i encourage more to watch this show.. i am not a big fan of tv but if it moves me to action that is when i deam it of great importance..

when people talk of their purpose.. i am always trying to seek out mine.. and complain that i keep getting involved in so many things and that i cant focus.. well i think today is that day that i have gained focus.. now i just need to find a way to get a job from this to pay the rent :)

so the last couple weeks.. i have been spending a bit of time with a very good old friend.. who i havent seen in almost 5 years.. its been soo good reconnecting and reminiscing of the old times.. and what we have been up to in the past 5 years.. how each of us have changed.. making our amends and expressing our apologies.. its been wonderfull.. he shows me how to have fun.. and love the little things.. we share so much in common and now he just got a job with me.. so i hope that he will bring energy there and encourage me when i am having a rough day..

also,.. just yesterday i have begun reconnecting with the pastors of this neighbourhood and with the neighbourhood centres and brainstorming what we can do in this neighbourhood.. and how we can bring life and energy here.. we also began discussing the park event for next christmas.. wow.. so early.. well i guess i learned a lot from last year and now i can get a big start on things.. especially focusing on finding people who are interested in implementing this same event in their neighbourhood...

so many things stiring in the pot.. i just need to make sure i dont put too many ingredients in it.. so that it blends well together..