a more devoted life.
what does that look like?

committment
love.
responsibility
consistency
sacrifice
honor/ reverence
respect
patience
silence
humanity
service
reality
choosing Christ first and only Him.
Choosing His ways before mine
putting others first
sharing my belongings OR relinquishing ownership
to Give accordingly
to let go of all that I know is mine and to take hood of that which is in and of Christ Jesus.
amen.

wow, so i was just reading back into my posts from august.. wow.. i was reminded of the importance of writing of recording your thoughts on paper (or computer).. its such an encouragment when you are not feeling in the right place...

it helps me to remember my direction when i loose sight of it..

since quiting my job, and the park event www.inthepark2006.com i have felt off key and i think i am just beginning to step back into balance...

i really need to come online more and record my thoughts.. i have so much to say especially about the whole spirit and truth that i talk about in sept 13th's entry

merry christmas all
and blessings to you this new year coming...

what will be the goal for next year?
hmmm....

so i am really sick these days.. (almost a week now) and i dont usually get sick that often, its been 2 years since i have been this sick.. and every day its been really different.. fever, swollen tonsils, stomach ache, diarrhea, etc.. the timing is really interesting to this new job that i got.. and i find it weird and wonder if i am not supposed to be working at this job.. i am so confused and do not feel settled on this decision.. and find it very hard to continue working there. my roommate got me this job as well rent is due shortly and i do not have enough to cover the costs,.. and therefore feel obligated to work.. God please help me?
...

ONE THING

new goal: on the first day of each week i am planning to give away one thing. something from my room that i am not in need of anymore and that someone else is in need of.

so after this mornings daily reading i feel like i should be planting a church.. ouch,.. hmm.. that is way too big.. am i just pushing for bigger things? bigger and better? more and more.. am i getting addicted to this or is my focus still in the right area? i have such a heart for people and bringing life and energy to stuff.. would that mean i would have to go back to school.. study theology? i really dont think this is what God is trying to tell me.. but it really didnt feel like an impossible thing for me when the thought first came to me.

my heart is really really growing for this (my) neighbourhood these days.. i was telling a friend yesterday how it took about a year before my bedroom and apartment felt like home.. but now going on the 3rd winter living in this same place i am beginning to feel like this neighbourhood is really my home.. like i want to dig it up from the depths to see what is buried - to engage with people - to joke with the drunk old men - to hug the women - to bring life and energy.. to them and to me.. i dont want to be another shane claiborne.. (not that that would be a bad thing) but i want to be more of me.. as i was reading his book i kept asking myself - what does this look like in my neighbourhood? what does this look like for me? well i think the answer is starting to be revealed to me... i think even at the right time i will get a job working in the area to meet more people that way.. we shall see..

this season is a lot about making amends, visiting old friends, setting examples. bringing energy, encouragement and motivation. life. this season is about more of Jesus. more balance of Spirit and Truth. (more scripture reading to balance out the "feelings and promtings" of the spirit.) to do good things. singing and dancing. unity. acts of unity. action. doing things. love.

so for this christmas i would like to have a gathering of people in my neighbourhood singing carols in christie pits park.
this is one idea i had to engage the community and to unify the church...
big idea, big step.. but i am not alone.. i know there are many others in this area that have a similar passion..
i want to create some flyers to distribute to the neighbours.. as well as flyers to distribute to the churches in this area.. to the little german church (lydias father) as well to the baptist church on the corner.. to the catholic church just past dovercourt.. to the ukranian church up the street.. to the mormans.. to bring everyone together to sing and celebrate christmas.. i hope to bring the churches together to pray for this neighbourhood and for this event.. perhaps by candlelight prayer walk from dovercourt to christie and dupont down to harbord..
many things can change from now till then.. but this neighbourhood is really on my heart and i hope i can be a part of creating change and bringing life and energy here.. (bloor and ossington)

come one come all to help promote..

so i am in the middle of a three day fast.. and its sooo wonderful... not eating makes things soo much easier.. opens up the schedule alot.. saves money... my pace to life slows down and i get to enjoy things more..
i really kinda wished i was journalling yesterday too, since i remember it was much harder (i guess the initial transition) and i was soo hungry.. and all i could think of is my friend who is on like day 30 or something.. and i cant even pass one day.. i couldnt understand.. whereas today.. im starting to get it.. and i dont want to stop after 3 days.. but i really felt it in the beginning to do 3 days.. so this is what i will stick with.. but im sure i will do more of these more often.. and i encourage you readers to be fasting too.. to really seek God in the quiet places.. i really just felt like curling up in a ball with Jesus wrapping His arms around me..

Stone church was really good.. solid preaching.. worship team was huge.. tight, beautiful... my roomates cousin was there.. its neet so far each church i have been to, i have seen someone there whom i knew already or whom i have met once before..

next week (im gonna have to find out the name), but its a little german church who my friends father pastors.. and its right beside my subway station.. and i cant believe i dont know the name....

well thats all gotta plan my workless week now.. what to do... hmm....

my last day at work today!
wow.. i am so excited... not to leave but excited in anticipation of what is to come..
my life is already full with so many amazing people.. who inspire me and encourage me with even their actions only...
and now this past week things have just filled in my schedule for next week so quickley.. people whom i havent seen in yrs.. people to catch up with over coffee...

many people are always longing for more money.. but me.. i long for more time.... and after today.. this is what i am going to be blessed with..

Thank you Jesus!

so this sunday i am heading to stone church.. this one seemed to get a little more attention on fnet.. its funny how certain churches attract certain kinds of people ... AND the opposite - how certain types of churches are for certain types of people.. i dont really know much about stone although the other day i met my friends sister and her friends who attend this church. and this is the same church my pastor attended before freedomize.. hmm. i am excited.. to see what this sunday morning shall bring..

PLUS, there are 2 more days left at my job.. and although i have mixed feelings, ultimately i am really excited.. excited of what is to come.. i dont really think i am going to have a normal job again.. at least i might get something part time to get me by for rent.. but ultimately im really not sure what kind of job i am to be doing.. perhaps i will get involved with promotions.. (not even sure where to begin) other than promoting my friends events.. which i am excited to do without pay.

this book (IRRESISTABLE REVOLUTION) that i am currently reading (as i tell all my friends) pretty much made me quit my job.. along with a bunch of other random things.. but ultimately this book showed me how much MORE i could be doing and i really feel 40 hrs a week in a desk job really gets in the way of things.. hmmmm......

so last night, on my way home (at my home, as i was trying to lock my bike) i heard what i thought was a gun shot.. i mean i have never heard this sound before.. only on the movies and such.. so i peak my head around the corner of my building onto bloor street and yes.. for real it was a gun shot.. and another and another.. this guy stood on the sidewalk gun pointing in the air.. and shooting.. i really didnt know what he was going to do next.. and my heart was racing.. i ran quickly back to my bike locked it quickly fumbled for my house key and was so nervous.. to get inside quickley to a safe place.. it seems so sureal.. like as if it was a movie.. like as if i was hallucinating... the memory is sooo faint.. but only by my reaction (which i have never experienced before.. - my life at risk) was i able to realize it actually happened.. i still shake at the thought of it.. how nobody was really acting like anything was happening.. it was at 2am.. and in my area there are still many people awake outside at the bar etc.. at this time.. so i was really confused.. and still since there was very little reaction i question the reality of this.. was i not hallucinating? i really wish there was someone i could ask in my neighbourhood who also saw this so i can know for real if it happened.. but i dont ever remember being sooo scared.. and that is the only thing i can use to bring this to reality.. wow.. i dont think i ever experienced my life being at risk before.. who knew what this crazy guy would do with this gun? he was shooting it in the air, but still... i think i was hallucinating.. ahhhhh!!!!

i find it interesting how in the early days of my christianity (2001ish) i found myself diving into the word soo much... reading so much (90 chapter challenge) and really getting to know the scriptures and who God is.. read read read .. and then over this last year.. my journey has been more about knowing andexperiencing God, His Presence personally by means of worship and dance.. dwelling in his presence... rolling around in the grass with Him... and only these last few weeks have i noticed how much i have not been rading my bible and it just occured to me a bit more of the meaning of spirit and truth, to be worshiping God in Spirit and truth.. not that this last year was a waste or anything.. i just really noticed how as i pick up my bible the words are coming at me in a different light.. in the light of the One who created me.. the One hwom i was dancing with.. the One whom i am learning to love.. and i also realized to be careful that not all these "feelings" of his presence can be so accurate unless we are digging throught the word and aligning the words with the spirit.. and not acting solely on how the situation "feels".. whether it feels like God is leading me down a certain path.. whether or not the spirit is guiding me, there are still words in the scriptures that hold true that we as christians should be walking out.. whether we "feel" like it or now...

as i have been practicing the guitar these are the songs i would lead a worship set in..

MY SET LIST
intimate stranger
breathe on me
city of gold
better is one day
you are awesome

thanks to these really amazing friends of mine who taught me a few guitar chords i am now able to play so many songs.. i hope i can encourage those around me the way these friends of mine have encouraged me..

Lord prepare me
to be a Sanctuary
Pure and Holy
tried and true.
With Thanksgiving,
i'll be a living
Sanctuary
for You.

i really like this song as it reminds me to be sacrificing what i want for what God wants.. to really submit my will to His.. as well being active in what he is calling me to..

so i finally quit my job today...hmm.. mixed emotions.. many things running through my mind.. was it the right choice? it didnt feel like it was the right choice.. well, i had to do it sometime.. i want to live a life of faith .. dependant on God.. for EVERYTHING.. what does that look like? i do not know.. i will learn as i take each step..

this week i will be attending knox presbyterian church (spadina and harbord, i believe) 11am.. let me know if you want to join me.. i will try and keep updates here as to where i will be going each week..
last week i went to walmer road baptist.. wonderful service, the holy spirit rushed over me and consumed me and brought me to tears.. i knelt at the cross.. i have never done this before since it always looks so fake and preplanned.. even the worship leader mentions that as we take communion you can find yourself a spot in the sanctuary.. you can sit or stand or kneel at the cross.. so as i recieve the host and begin to walk back to my seat i feel the urging of the holy spirit to kneel.. i didnt want to get up.. ever.. it was a beautiful moment.. but the song finished and they started to introduce their guest speaker and well.. i suddenly felt like i was in a spotlight.. so i got up and went back to my seat..

just a little promo.. although i know not many are even aware i have a blog,.. but this is a prayer night coming up in less than 2 weeks for the city of toronto..
worship style, scripture led,. prayer,.. you can sing or dance or lay down on the floor.. "whatever your thing is.. the song is not done until you play your part" - renee james.

so this church venturing i am doing these days is really exciting i have been to 3 churches this past week (freedomize, my home church, being one of them) and i really have felt like i have taken so much from each one.. the good and the bad.. and none are perfect.. i anticipate what is to come over the next 6 months of this.. very soon i will be making a schedule of which church i am going to when.. and if you feel like tagging along, drop me a line.. its funny while going about this adventure, i kinda dont feel like doing it really, but at the same time i know i have to. i think it would be wonderful to familiarize myself with what goes on spiritually in the city of toronto.. God is doing stuff.. and i wanna find out what it is.. i want to be a part of it..

so i am still getting used to this whole blogging thing.. this is a picture here from that wonderful nidus festival i keep talking about.. to like everyone.. so excited.. but ya.. it was the only recent pic i could find that i was by myself..
you can find more pics of me in group shots and more pics of the nidus festival on my church website www.freedomize.com

tobedigo

㼤™

岤ž

hey i think my comp is now somehow working.. each day is different i will have to make this brief..

i am really starting to find my purpose.. some i already knew and some things are new for me.. i really feel purpose inside the church, giving and encouraging and motivating.. leadership type stuff.. this is something i kinda knew before, but i think its starting to draw a picture for me.. things are becoming clearer day by day.. i want to experience more and i want those around me to experience more.. more of life, more of God, more love, more joy, more peace.. more more more.. not to stop and be content somewhere along the path, but to keep reaching higher,.. as CS Lewis says "farther up and further in" or something like that.. but i resonate with that.. to not stop and be content.. i want more.. i am learning guitar.. to play worship songs to God and to play together with a group with Jesus, through and by the Holy Spirit to God. to understand more and more each day the meaning of worship.. to "dance before your king" (jess cantelon) - to reach beyond the stars.. there is always more .. God wants the best for each of us.. each of his children..

i am also learning more about different denominations to gather more information and to bring unity whatever that looks like.. to mix n mingle.. as my friend is doing with the club industry.. i want to do something similar.. to find a medium which can reach most denominations and bring harmony and unity to the church in toronto and in the world.. i truely believe that when the churches come together this city can and will be transformed.. i am praying through ephesians 4 regarding this and i also encourage you to do the same...
during the next few weeks i plan to go to different churches in toronto, to familiarize myself and to find that medium.. we shall see what is to come.. only God knows!

:)
lots of love,
leslie.

so i am on a computer that actually works now..
yay
my first post.
who wouldve thought

well getting ready for the annual summer camping retreat with my church called freekout tree.oh .. im pretty excited except for all the preparations.. i think i need to hire an assistant.. hehe.. otherwise i need to quit my job.. ugh.. it really is weighing me down..

this weekend i really hope to get more rested (to compliment last weekend at www.nidus2006.ca) i need to learn how to balance myself - physically, spiritually, mentally and socially. i should be taking a daily log of all these things... along with having an accountability partner to go along with it.. (anyone?) to keep me aligned to keep reminding me to jot stuff down, to keep track.. i know i have a tendancy to go extreme.. either too much exercise or not enough.. i really need to find out how much is middle ground for me.. i always thought you couldnt get too much spiritually, but perhaps the time spent (on too much) could be spent balancing out the rest of the 3.. not really too sure..

so i really believe this makes sense for me.. it is only about putting it into action .. and not getting carried away with it - both ends to be consious of..

so the beginning of my blog has begun...
i really do hope my comp at home gets fixed up so i can continue to update on a normal post instead of in the comments section.. hee

ciao!