so i am in the middle of a three day fast.. and its sooo wonderful... not eating makes things soo much easier.. opens up the schedule alot.. saves money... my pace to life slows down and i get to enjoy things more..
i really kinda wished i was journalling yesterday too, since i remember it was much harder (i guess the initial transition) and i was soo hungry.. and all i could think of is my friend who is on like day 30 or something.. and i cant even pass one day.. i couldnt understand.. whereas today.. im starting to get it.. and i dont want to stop after 3 days.. but i really felt it in the beginning to do 3 days.. so this is what i will stick with.. but im sure i will do more of these more often.. and i encourage you readers to be fasting too.. to really seek God in the quiet places.. i really just felt like curling up in a ball with Jesus wrapping His arms around me..

Stone church was really good.. solid preaching.. worship team was huge.. tight, beautiful... my roomates cousin was there.. its neet so far each church i have been to, i have seen someone there whom i knew already or whom i have met once before..

next week (im gonna have to find out the name), but its a little german church who my friends father pastors.. and its right beside my subway station.. and i cant believe i dont know the name....

well thats all gotta plan my workless week now.. what to do... hmm....

my last day at work today!
wow.. i am so excited... not to leave but excited in anticipation of what is to come..
my life is already full with so many amazing people.. who inspire me and encourage me with even their actions only...
and now this past week things have just filled in my schedule for next week so quickley.. people whom i havent seen in yrs.. people to catch up with over coffee...

many people are always longing for more money.. but me.. i long for more time.... and after today.. this is what i am going to be blessed with..

Thank you Jesus!

so this sunday i am heading to stone church.. this one seemed to get a little more attention on fnet.. its funny how certain churches attract certain kinds of people ... AND the opposite - how certain types of churches are for certain types of people.. i dont really know much about stone although the other day i met my friends sister and her friends who attend this church. and this is the same church my pastor attended before freedomize.. hmm. i am excited.. to see what this sunday morning shall bring..

PLUS, there are 2 more days left at my job.. and although i have mixed feelings, ultimately i am really excited.. excited of what is to come.. i dont really think i am going to have a normal job again.. at least i might get something part time to get me by for rent.. but ultimately im really not sure what kind of job i am to be doing.. perhaps i will get involved with promotions.. (not even sure where to begin) other than promoting my friends events.. which i am excited to do without pay.

this book (IRRESISTABLE REVOLUTION) that i am currently reading (as i tell all my friends) pretty much made me quit my job.. along with a bunch of other random things.. but ultimately this book showed me how much MORE i could be doing and i really feel 40 hrs a week in a desk job really gets in the way of things.. hmmmm......

so last night, on my way home (at my home, as i was trying to lock my bike) i heard what i thought was a gun shot.. i mean i have never heard this sound before.. only on the movies and such.. so i peak my head around the corner of my building onto bloor street and yes.. for real it was a gun shot.. and another and another.. this guy stood on the sidewalk gun pointing in the air.. and shooting.. i really didnt know what he was going to do next.. and my heart was racing.. i ran quickly back to my bike locked it quickly fumbled for my house key and was so nervous.. to get inside quickley to a safe place.. it seems so sureal.. like as if it was a movie.. like as if i was hallucinating... the memory is sooo faint.. but only by my reaction (which i have never experienced before.. - my life at risk) was i able to realize it actually happened.. i still shake at the thought of it.. how nobody was really acting like anything was happening.. it was at 2am.. and in my area there are still many people awake outside at the bar etc.. at this time.. so i was really confused.. and still since there was very little reaction i question the reality of this.. was i not hallucinating? i really wish there was someone i could ask in my neighbourhood who also saw this so i can know for real if it happened.. but i dont ever remember being sooo scared.. and that is the only thing i can use to bring this to reality.. wow.. i dont think i ever experienced my life being at risk before.. who knew what this crazy guy would do with this gun? he was shooting it in the air, but still... i think i was hallucinating.. ahhhhh!!!!

i find it interesting how in the early days of my christianity (2001ish) i found myself diving into the word soo much... reading so much (90 chapter challenge) and really getting to know the scriptures and who God is.. read read read .. and then over this last year.. my journey has been more about knowing andexperiencing God, His Presence personally by means of worship and dance.. dwelling in his presence... rolling around in the grass with Him... and only these last few weeks have i noticed how much i have not been rading my bible and it just occured to me a bit more of the meaning of spirit and truth, to be worshiping God in Spirit and truth.. not that this last year was a waste or anything.. i just really noticed how as i pick up my bible the words are coming at me in a different light.. in the light of the One who created me.. the One hwom i was dancing with.. the One whom i am learning to love.. and i also realized to be careful that not all these "feelings" of his presence can be so accurate unless we are digging throught the word and aligning the words with the spirit.. and not acting solely on how the situation "feels".. whether it feels like God is leading me down a certain path.. whether or not the spirit is guiding me, there are still words in the scriptures that hold true that we as christians should be walking out.. whether we "feel" like it or now...

as i have been practicing the guitar these are the songs i would lead a worship set in..

MY SET LIST
intimate stranger
breathe on me
city of gold
better is one day
you are awesome

thanks to these really amazing friends of mine who taught me a few guitar chords i am now able to play so many songs.. i hope i can encourage those around me the way these friends of mine have encouraged me..

Lord prepare me
to be a Sanctuary
Pure and Holy
tried and true.
With Thanksgiving,
i'll be a living
Sanctuary
for You.

i really like this song as it reminds me to be sacrificing what i want for what God wants.. to really submit my will to His.. as well being active in what he is calling me to..

so i finally quit my job today...hmm.. mixed emotions.. many things running through my mind.. was it the right choice? it didnt feel like it was the right choice.. well, i had to do it sometime.. i want to live a life of faith .. dependant on God.. for EVERYTHING.. what does that look like? i do not know.. i will learn as i take each step..

this week i will be attending knox presbyterian church (spadina and harbord, i believe) 11am.. let me know if you want to join me.. i will try and keep updates here as to where i will be going each week..
last week i went to walmer road baptist.. wonderful service, the holy spirit rushed over me and consumed me and brought me to tears.. i knelt at the cross.. i have never done this before since it always looks so fake and preplanned.. even the worship leader mentions that as we take communion you can find yourself a spot in the sanctuary.. you can sit or stand or kneel at the cross.. so as i recieve the host and begin to walk back to my seat i feel the urging of the holy spirit to kneel.. i didnt want to get up.. ever.. it was a beautiful moment.. but the song finished and they started to introduce their guest speaker and well.. i suddenly felt like i was in a spotlight.. so i got up and went back to my seat..

just a little promo.. although i know not many are even aware i have a blog,.. but this is a prayer night coming up in less than 2 weeks for the city of toronto..
worship style, scripture led,. prayer,.. you can sing or dance or lay down on the floor.. "whatever your thing is.. the song is not done until you play your part" - renee james.